Frankly Speaking ........Now!
Letter to my daughter

Forgiveness, restoration and encouragement


You will find a letter written to my daughter.  It could have been written to a son, any family member or friend.  You will find forgiveness, forgetting, restoration, encouragement and a charge to keep going forward no matter what.  Again, it was written to my daughter, but it could have been to anyone with a similar situation.  May you find what you need as you read this letter.  Hopefully, you will be able to apply it to your life or situation in a helpful way. 



Dear Kristen,


Thank you for exposing your "heart” to me.  In writing such a great letter, I see your "effort" to want to understand yourself and me.  There are also other things I see in your trying to understand OUR relationship.  It is hard at times and I don't know if any of us will ever completely understand anyone completely.  That applies to you, me, friends, divine appointments, God...etc!!  I think that we ALL spend our lifetimes trying to figure “IT” out.

Not that I don't believe in signs,  as they are interesting in their generalities and can be quite accurate in some areas, but, I do believe in God and continue to trust Him no matter if I understand His ways fully or not.  He carries with Him the wisdom of the ages and knows our hearts better than anyone. As our creator, He knows how we work.  God knows what will make us the happiest because He knows us so much better than we know ourselves. We only think that we know ourselves.....He actually does!!

As many mistakes, "blew its' and sins I have had in my life, I am still amazed at His great love for me. His mercy fails not and His forgiveness has no end.  Our Heavenly Father’s love is beyond anything that I can truly understand.  How could I not love Him? He has been the only one there for me many times.  Ha, I probably ran everyone else away or they were too embarrassed by what I had just done to stay near, but, He has always been matter what I have done.  That is love!!!! I can trust that ONE!!!

Kristen, I can agree with you totally. I have not been a perfect dad, husband or friend. I have not been honorable. I have blown it so many times. I have broken commitments....I have done things in secret.....yes, secret agent man.  I have lied and cheated and have been selfish with MY time.  There have been so many times I have thought of only myself....the only child syndrome.  I have lost a lot many times in my life, including youth groups…

businesses....favor....credibility....AND family for my mistakes.

Although, there has been all of the above, I have "tried" through it all to do the "right" thing.  It has always been in my heart to serve God the best that I could and continue to grow.  There was a desire to continue to pursue Him no matter what matter what I did.  Do I understand it? No, not completely…that is where faith and trust come in.....that is where forgiveness, love, mercy, grace and compassion come in......God's qualities.  I deserve to be hated and to be disliked and surely deserve a penalty for all of the things that I have done to others and to myself. 


Thank goodness, God doesn't give us what we deserve....He believes in us.  Our Heavenly Father believes the "best" in us and continues to give us chance after chance.  He continues to resurrect us time after time from dead situations and the dead end paths we have chosen. He continues to come get us when we take detours and have lost our way. He continues to pick us up when we have stumbled and fallen. He continues to be committed toward us in His love no matter what. Thank you for sending your son Jesus to pay the price required for my sins.

One of my favorite quotes is from Nelson Mandela, “The greatest glory in living comes from not never falling, but in rising every time we fall!” We have to continue to choose. WE can choose to stay where we are or chose to win…choose to go forward…choose to become what we are intended to be…..We choose life daily!! WE choose to forget the things which are behind or we waller in them forever. We choose to go forward or we keep spinning our wheels with no purpose or goal for our lives. It is not easy. It is almost guaranteed that we WILL make mistakes and we WILL blow it, but God somehow takes those things and turns them into GOOD! He teaches us……He strengthens us…He continues to make us into the person He intends us to be.  The funny thing about God is that He knew we would make all of the mistakes before He called us to do anything……He saved us anyway!!!

One thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forth unto those things which are ahead, I press (push) toward the mark of the high calling of God.  Kristen, no matter what happens…no matter what the situation…we continue to push.  It is like a birthing process.  We have to push until we see the “baby”.  Just like when you have an opportunity that has been set before you, go for it…believe in it…and push.  Do the best that you can and allow God to do the rest.  Ask Him for guidance in all things, then ask for favor and wisdom in your choices.  As I have been example, every choice has a set of consequences that go with them.  Life is so much easier with God led choices.  It does not promise an easy road, but it will bring you the greatest joy and peace.

You have an opportunity to do ALL the things that I have not been able to do.  They have been in my heart and I went for them the best that I could, but it is not over until the fat lady sings.  I still believe……I still see……I still have faith that God is going to use all of us in great ways……

So, all that being said, forgive me.  YOU are my daughter.  I love you and have always desired a relationship with you. That is in my heart and always has been.  To find the way has sometimes escaped me.  There are so many plates spinning and it seems so hard to keep them all from dropping…..and even harder sometimes to discern which ones that it is okay to let drop and break.

I think some of my choices were influenced by my mistakes and failures.  They brought “wounds” into my life that never seemed to heal, or heal very slowly. Those very things affect our decisions and who we are to become. I felt like I had to continue to “prove” myself in most areas of my life by winning, to show my worth and value to those around.  Please realize that I thought providing for my family was very important, but it was always so hard for me to find the balance in making a living…and just living! I definitely blew it!!! Again, I apologize……forgive me.

Okay, we can focus on the past, or we can focus on the future. I choose to focus on the things ahead……the possibilities……forgiveness allows us to do that!!! It is like a big chalk board that has accusations, mistakes, sins and our “blew its” written all over it.  Satan loves to remind us of them.  Others continue to point to them and we continue to beat ourselves up over them.  We believe that if we beat enough, payment will be made and we will finally feel good about ourselves.  Sadly, that day never comes until we realize it is only when we receive forgiveness and give forgiveness by forgiving ourselves and others that we finally discover true freedom. 

Now, we are free to go forward. Our relationships are healed and we are healed.  We can continue.  It is like a big eraser comes and wipes away everything written upon our chalk board.  It is gone. We have a new beginning and a new start.  It is a new day with new opportunities where anything is possible.  Ah, freedom and liberty feels so good (Col 2:14).

I guess because of ALL my mistakes, I have had no other choice but to believe, so I trust that WE can do the same.  I receive your forgiveness and ask you for mine.  May we continue to go forward expecting the best.   Let us be quick to forgive and forget by releasing each other and others from any damage done.

Thank you Kristen for your letter! I am proud of you. I believe in you. When I heard of your trip to Washington, I was excited. I have never believed you or Michael were “normal”.  Ha, you both have proved that, but I have always believed you both had a plan and purpose for your life. In one of my “better” seasons, I remember praying and fasting for 28 days, 21 days and 14 days.  I got to spend about 6 months “with the Lord” the best that I knew how. 

One moment in that season, while spending time with the Lord, it was expedient that I blessed both of you as a father.  There was a sense of urgency to do so and I remember speaking over both of your lives the blessings of the Lord.  To this day, I ask the Lord to fulfill the words that probably only He remembers in their entirety, but I know that He gave them and released them to be spoken over your lives.  Also, I believe that they are true and will manifest in your lives in the present and in the future.

Kristen, again, I believe in you! You are “special” and you are anointed.  You have been “handpicked” by God to be used of Him.  You have a plan and a purpose for your life and it is exciting to see you go forward. I trust that you will be wiser than your father and make choices that are full of wisdom and God inspired. I trust that you will always do the right thing no matter the temporary cost involved.  Continue to be blessed in all your pursuits. 

May favor and blessings find you and overtake you.  May you have divine appointments cross your path continually and may the eyes of your heart recognize and take advantage of each and every one.  May you believe in yourself, your talents and your gifting.  May you see yourself as God sees you; believing that you can truly do all things through Christ who strengthens you!

I love you! May the Lord let you see as He sees by opening the eyes of your heart.   Remember 1 Samuel 16:7, “The Lord looketh not upon the outward appearance, but upon the heart!!!”

Sometimes, what seems to be is not what is really is.  Satan is a master accuser.  He accuses us before each other and accuses us before ourselves.  Our enemy lies about us to each other and emphasizes the worst and the bad in each of us as well as to ourselves.  It’s his purpose to cause division and make us feel unworthy to proceed or take full advantage of the opportunities before us.  His plan is to make us miss the best things in life...the simple things.  We can live a life of regret by continuing to blame others and each other for why we are the way we are……or we can go forward!!! I trust that you will go forward.  That I what I am doing as there is no other choice.  A winner continues to keep trying!


"Where there is no vision, the people perish." ~Proverbs 29:18

"People don't fail because they aim too high and miss, but because they aim too low and hit." ~Les Brown

"Any great achievement is preceded by many difficulties and  many lessons, great achievements are not possible without them." -- Brian Tracy

"A leader is a person you will follow to a place you wouldn't go by yourself." -- Joel Arthur Barker

"Confidence is: Going after Moby Dick in a rowboat, and taking the tartar sauce with you. A Bullfighter who goes in the ring with mustard on his sword." -- Zig Ziglar

And I command you today: Love God, your God. Walk in his ways. Keep his commandments, regulations, and rules so that you will live, really live, live exuberantly, blessed by God, your God, in the land you are about to enter and possess. Deut 30:16

Kristen, thank you! I hope you will keep these words and continue to glean from them as I have yours!!



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